That Really Chaps My Behind

Don’t you absolutely hate when strangers get all up in your business in the name of moral vanity?  Remember when Nanny Bloomberg decided that large soft drinks are bad for us, so he got legislation passed prohibiting their sale in New York City?  Because obviously we are not capable of making good decisions on our own.

I stopped by the supermarket one day after work to pick up some microwave popcorn.  My students had earned Fun Friday and I planned to show a movie and give them popcorn.  The woman in front of me at the checkout stand saw the boxes in my hands and said, “Oh, you shouldn’t buy that.  I saw a report on television that said it’s bad for you.”

Let me tell you, if I hadn’t been exhausted and ready to just get home, I would have gone back and grabbed five more boxes.  I come from a long line of Scotch-Irish ancestors who don’t cotton to being told what to do and how to do it.  I simply narrowed my eyes and glared at her until she turned back around.

Mr. R. and I came late to the Breaking Bad party.  We’d heard all the fuss and had kind of ignored it until last Christmas.  We both had some time off and thought maybe we’d check it out on Netflix.  A week later we were completely caught up to the middle of the final season.  By the time the last half of the final season ran, we were sitting on the edge of the sofa biting our nails along with the rest of the planet.  That scene with Walt and Hank in the garage?  “…tread lightly…”  Holy schneikes!

When the Breaking Bad collectible figures came out last week, Mr. R. sent me a text with a photo of them stating that he knew what he wanted for Christmas. I mentioned that he might want to write a letter to Santa.

Then…dunh-duhn-DUNH!  Some panty-waste do-gooder mom from Florida (and I take extreme exception as I am a mom from Florida) took it upon herself to start a petition demanding that Toys R Us remove the figures from store shelves.  And guess what?  Toys R Us caved.

Here’s the thing.  They aren’t toys meant for kids.  They’re collectibles for adult fans of the show who are historically willing to drop lots of money on such items.  And clearly Breaking Bad is not a kids’ show.  But keep in mind, the show does nothing to glamorize or glorify drugs or their use.  If anything, it serves as a cautionary tale testifying to the fact that there are no short cuts in this world.  If you don’t like the figures, don’t buy them.  I don’t see you having fits over Grand Theft Auto.  Now here’s the hard part–supposing little Johnny accidentally wanders into the Breaking Bad section and wants to buy a Jesse Pinkman, you, his parent, tell him, “No.”  Scary, right?

Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston tweeted some comical sentiments about the whole fiasco, but fellow Breaking Bad actor Aaron Paul decided to do something about it.  He started his own petition to convince Toys R Us to keep the collectibles on store shelves.  I signed it as quickly as I could.  If you’re of like mind, click on the link and sign it, too.

The world needs fewer nannies.